


It's Just A Word, Homes

by TotidemVerbis



Series: HBO War One Shots And Drabbles [11]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: 3+1 fic, Brad is bad at feelings, Happy Ending, M/M, Ray Is An Actual Adult, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 01:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotidemVerbis/pseuds/TotidemVerbis
Summary: Three times that Ray used the word love, and the one time that Brad did.





	It's Just A Word, Homes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a dialogue prompt on tumblr, but I thought it was cute and decided to post it here too.

The first time Ray says _it_ , it’s in the middle of an argument not even a whole month after Brad moved in with him. Ray had been expecting them to argue, roommates always argued, but he’d never expected to have this argument. 

Wait, let’s take a step back. 

Brad got assigned to a base close to where Ray was living, and Ray remembers feeling intense pity for the poor souls that were going to have Brad as their drill instructor when Brad first called Ray and told him of his new assignment. Then Brad had mentioned where he was being assigned to, and Ray was only living about twenty minutes away from the base. He’d gone to college after getting his brains back and realized that he really liked teaching, and he’d surprised everyone that had ever known him when he took a job as a high school science teacher. (He’d surprised himself too, but it was a job that he actually enjoyed.) 

So, Brad had moved into Ray’s guest room. Their friendship was still just as easy as it had ever been, and they took to living together like they’d been sharing the same space for years. For the first three weeks, everything between them was perfectly fine. Brad did his instructor thing and terrorized incoming Marines, Ray did his teacher thing and empowered young minds, and all was good. Until the Wednesday night when Brad told Ray that he had a date that following Saturday. 

At first, Ray didn’t say or do anything aside from telling Brad to take protection. He’d turned it into a joke, which had made Brad laugh before he gave a monologue on Ray’s disturbed sexual preferences, and then they went to their separate rooms. The thing was though…Ray couldn’t stop thinking about it. About Brad on a date. He knew in Iraq that he’d stupidly fallen for his sergeant, but he thought that’d fade after he left the Marines. He and Brad stayed in touch after he left though, so the feeling never faded. Then Brad moved in, was constantly in Ray’s space all the time, and Ray didn’t think it was possible for him to love Brad any more than he already did until they were living together. 

Maybe, just maybe, Ray had reacted a little too strongly over the next few days. He kept refusing to meet Brad’s eyes, barely spoke to him, and actually snapped at him once or twice when Brad tried to pull him into a conversation. Ray could tell that Brad was getting frustrated, then angry, but Ray couldn’t pull himself together. He kept telling himself to suck it up and be a supportive friend, but all of those positive thinking exercises completely disappeared whenever he thought about Brad being with someone else. 

Which led them to having a huge argument on Saturday, only a few hours before Brad was supposed to leave on his date. It had started with Brad asking what Ray’s problem was, and he’d just shrugged and said he had no idea what Brad was talking about while refusing to look away from the TV. Then Brad’s giant frame had blocked the TV, and Ray had rolled his eyes before getting to his feet. His plan had been to go to his room, so that he wouldn’t have to see Brad leave for his date, but Brad had grabbed his elbow before he could even get out of the living room. That’s when things escalated. 

_“Stop being a moody little bitch and tell me what you’re fucking problem is!” Brad yells, fingers tightening around Ray’s arm._

_“I’m in love with you!” Ray yells it while looking right up into Brad’s eyes, so he has a front row seat to watch the way that Brad’s face just shuts down. Brad lets go of his arm and takes a step back, and Ray crosses his arms over his chest as he waits for Brad to say_ something.

That’s where they are now. Facing each other in the living room, Ray with his arms crossed and Brad with a blank look on his face, locked into some kind of staring contest. Ray’s got a faint screaming sound echoing in the back of his mind, and a part of him wishes that he could take the words back. Take them back and lock them away. The other part of him? That part is just relieved at finally saying it out loud after years of having the words right on the tip of his tongue. 

The staring contest is broken when Brad looks down and then starts rummaging around in his pockets, and Ray’s slightly angered expression shifts into confusion. Because…what the fuck? After some digging, Brad pulls out his phone. Ray watches on as he does some quick tapping and then brings the phone up to his ear, and now there’s a new part of him that’s starting to think he’s having some kind of bizarre ass dream. 

“I just told you that I love you, and you’re making a phone call?!” Ray’s voice echoes in the otherwise quiet house, and Brad-the motherfucker-raises a finger to tell him to wait. Ray’s imagining all the ways that he can kill Brad and get away with it, love or no love, when Brad finally speaks. 

“Date’s canceled. Lose my number.” That’s it. That’s all Brad says before ending the call and then stuffing the phone back in his pocket, and Ray’s still gaping at him in complete confusion when Brad looks at him again. He’s a got a million and two questions running through his mind, but he can’t seem to get a single one of them out as Brad copies his stance and crosses his arms. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“Because you’re a straight commitment phobe,” Ray answers automatically. Brad maintains eye contact, but there’s a subtle shift of his weight. Brad never fidgets, so Ray easily picks up on the small movement. 

“What do you want from me, Ray?” That’s a loaded question, and Ray feels stunned as he thinks it over. Because honestly? Ray wants _everything_. He wants the stupid arguments that they’re going to have, he wants cuddling on the couch while watching dumb TV shows, he wants cheesy innuendos over breakfast and playing footsie at dinner…he wants to fall asleep next to Brad at night and see him when he first wakes up. 

“Whatever you’ll give me.” Ray’s arms fall down to his sides as he answers, because he knows he can’t ask Brad for all the things that he does want. He knows who Brad is. If Ray asks for a super serious relationship right from the beginning, there’s a good chance that Brad will run. So Ray will take what he can get. 

“But you love me.” It’s not a question, but Ray answers anyway. 

“Yeah, I love you.” _Damn_ , it feels better each time he says it. Like another weight has been lifted. Like he can breathe just a little easier. 

“And you want a relationship.” Ray raises a brow at the calm even tone of Brad’s voice, but Brad just keeps staring him down. Okay, Ray can handle this. He’ll answer whatever Brad asks him, because he’s tired of holding back. 

“Only if you do. If you want, we can pretend that today never even happened.” It hurts a little to say it out loud, but Ray will do just that if that’s what Brad wants. Because mushy feelings aside, Brad’s still his best friend. 

“What if I don’t want that?” Now Brad is the one that looks confused, and Ray can feel a headache starting to pound at his temples. 

“What do you want?” Ray finally asks. Brad doesn’t say anything for a while, for so long that Ray starts to fidget, and then Brad nods once to himself before he starts walking in Ray’s direction. “Brad? Come on, dude, use your words. What are you-”

Ray braces himself for the worst when Brad stops in front of him and grabs his shoulders hard enough to bruise, and his question is cut off as Brad ducks down to kiss him. As far as kisses go, it’s simple. Chaste, even. Just a press of Brad’s dry lips against Ray’s, but Ray still feels a little light-headed when Brad pulls back. Brad’s eyes are wide, and Ray keeps looking between his eyes and his lips as he tries to figure out if he’s dreaming or awake. He feels awake, but Brad just kissed him. 

“A relationship with me won’t be easy,” Brad tells him. Ray huffs a laugh as he rolls his eyes, and Brad’s grip on his shoulders tightens just a little. 

“I already know that, you giant freak. You think I’m gonna give up just because you’ve got some issues? I’ve stuck with you this long, I ain’t about to run now.” Maybe it’s a trick of the light, but it looks like Brad’s eyes soften a little as one side of his lips pulls up into a smile. 

That’s how they make the change from friends that are just roommates to friends that are dating and already living together.

**.xXx.**

Two months into their relationship, which still amazes Ray even months later, the two of them are spending a lazy Sunday on the couch. Brad’s sitting at the far end of the couch and watching a documentary on World War II, and Ray’s stretched out on his back with his head pillowed on Brad’s thigh. He’s reading over his lesson plans for the upcoming week and making little notes, and it’s been a peaceful day. Shit, it’s been a peaceful few months. Dating Brad isn’t all that different from being friends with Brad, but now there’s kisses after breakfast and a lot more sex in between colorful insults.

“When did you know?” The question catches Ray off-guard, and he lowers his notebook onto his stomach so that he can look up at Brad’s face. 

“Know what?” Brad knows that he has to be more specific whenever he asks Ray stuff.

“That you…never mind. Forget it,” Brad says and looks at the TV again. It’s hard to tell at this angle, but it looks like Brad might be blushing a little. 

Brad’s been making an honest effort to be more open when it comes to talking about the more emotional side of their relationship, but it’s a slow process. Not that Ray minds. Brad wouldn’t be Brad if he suddenly started doodling hearts everywhere and soliloquizing about his epic love for Ray. (Brad hasn’t even been able to say _I love you_ yet, but that’s okay too. Ray doesn’t have to hear the words. Because Brad shows his love through actions, like when he makes Ray’s coffee just the way he likes it or the way he holds Ray whenever Ray starts ranting about whatever kind of school drama is going on.) Ray, on the other hand, has no problem articulating his feelings. 

“I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.” Yeah, Ray knows that what he just said is sappy as hell, but it’s also the truth. He’s not sure when he crossed that line from loving Brad as a friend to something more, and it doesn’t really matter. He loves Brad now, and somehow the two of them are making this whole relationship thing work. Even if it ends in disaster, Ray’s got plenty of good memories to look back on. 

“What if I never say it back?” Brad asks and looks down at Ray again. Ray makes sure to look into Brad’s eyes when he answers, because he wants Brad to know that he’s serious. 

“Then you never say it. It’s just a word, homes. I don’t need to hear one little word. All I need is you, baby,” Ray says and grins. Brad rolls his eyes and then places a hand over Ray’s face in an attempt to make him stop making kissy faces, which leads to them eventually rolling off of the couch while laughing. And after that…well, that’s another good memory for Ray to look back on.

**.xXx.**

“I love your freckles.”

They’re stretched out on their bed, which used to be Ray’s bed but is now their bed six months into their relationship, and sweat is still cooling on their bodies. Brad is stretched out on his stomach with his face buried in a pillow, and Ray has plastered himself to Brad’s back. His cheek is pressing under the curve of Brad’s shoulder blade, and he’s tracing a single fingertip over the tops of Brad’s shoulders. He’s been out surfing lately, and there’s little freckles dotted along the usually pale skin. 

“Go to sleep, Ray.” It’s muffled, but Ray can still understand him. He is tired, and a nap does sound like a good idea. So he starts to hum a little while still connecting the freckles on Brad’s skin, and he’s asleep before he can complete the pattern.

**.xXx.**

“So I’m resisting the urge to throw my book at this kid’s face and-”

“-I love you-”

“-I’ve got to meet with the punk’s parents now…Wait, what’d you say?” Ray stops rambling, and Brad actually smiles across the table at him. They’re having tacos for dinner, there’s lettuce in Ray’s lap and some sauce on his chin, so he knows that Brad did not say what Ray thinks he just said. 

“I love you,” Brad repeats while still smiling at him. Ray drops his half-eaten taco onto his plate and moves out of his chair so fast that it topples over, and Brad’s brows are drawn together in confusion as Ray rounds the kitchen table. 

“You motherfucker,” Ray gets out before launching himself at Brad. He feels Brad’s arms lock around his back as Ray practically tackles him to the floor, and it takes a moment for Brad to take a deep breath and for Ray to scramble up onto his knees. “We’ve been together for a _year_ , and you decide to tell me in the middle of dinner while I’m covered in food?”

“You told me a couple of hours before I was going to go on a date,” Brad points out. He reaches up then to wipe away the sauce still on Ray’s chin, and Ray’s eyes go a little wide as Brad licks the sauce off of his thumb.

“Fair point. Say it again.” Ray’s straddling Brad’s stomach now with his hands braced against Brad’s chest, so he can feel the steady beat of Brad’s heart. He can also feel Brad’s hands running over his sides before dropping down to grip his hips. 

“I love you,” Brad says with another wide smile. 

“Damn straight you do.” Since Brad is a giant with freakishly long arms, he easily reaches up to grab the back of Ray’s neck and pulls him down into a kiss. It’s too quick in Ray’s opinion, and Brad pulls back after a quick nip to Ray’s bottom lip. There’s an expectant look on Brad’s face, and Ray smiles as he tilts his head and lets his lips brush against Brad’s. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
